The Five Kinds of Vapers You’ll Meet
There are millions of vapers in the United States alone, and we all have a few things in common: good taste, a sense of justice, a disdain for cigarettes, and an insatiable need for e juices and gadgets. Beyond that, we’re all very different people, but we share a collective sense of humor. It’s for the sake of that collective comedy that I’ve made the following list of the five types of vapers you’ll meet. Maybe you’ll see someone you know, or maybe you’ll even see yourself. I know I did.
The Old School Vaper
This vaper has been vaping since before the words “box mod” were even a twinkle in a cloud chaser’s eye. They’ve been on ECF since ECF was run on stone tablets and they remember the good ol’ days, when you had tiny little stick batteries and prefilled cartridges. Back when the word “ohm” was something you only heard in college level chem classes or meditation retreats. This vaper knows what they like, and they’re probably sticking with that. Listen to the old school vaper. They’ve got great stories to tell, and a lot of them switched to e-cigs more than five years ago, so they know what they’re talking about (we love you guys!). Respect the old school vaper. They deserve it.
The “My Clouds Are Bigger Than Your Clouds” Vaper
You know this kind of vaper when you see ‘em. Or rather, when you don’t see ‘em because they’re often veiled in a cloud of mist so thick the National Weather Advisory has to issue a heavy fog warning (we think it’s pretty badass). The higher the VG the better for the cloud chaser. Want to see someone blow smoke streams out of both nostrils that can rival a dragon? Want to see someone blow smoke rings big enough to lasso an actual dragon? This is your guy.
The Mod Collector
There’s one room in this vapers house, and it’s got everything he or she needs in case the Vapeopcalypse descends at any moment (fingers crossed that it won’t). The room can only be accessed with the vaper’s fingerprint, or they have to lead you in blindfolded, like the Bat Cave, but once you enter: shelves upon shelves of the finest box mods that man can build. Mods of different sizes, shapes and colors (mad respect!). Just by smell, they can find the mod they’re looking for. Just by touch, they can tell you where the mod came from, its maximum wattage, and what coils are best to use with it. You can’t impress the mod collector with your brand new box mod. They already have five of it.
The Artisanal Vaper
The artisanal vaper doesn’t buy e-juice from shops. No, siree. This vaper is a DIY kinda gal or guy. The artisanal vaper’s kitchen has a whole set of cabinets filled with 5-gallon jugs of PG, VG, and flavors. Oh, the flavors (we love the flavors!). You can be sitting watching a really intense football game, and you suddenly muse aloud that you wish they made a glazed donut-bacon-chocolate-chip-custard-coconut e juice, and the next thing you know it, he comes back with a 30 ml vial of just that. Truly an artisan of e liquid.
The Super Advocate
The first five posts on this vaper’s Facebook page are all from SFATA or CASAA (heck yes!). They can tell you everything you need to know about FDA deeming and they already have an A Billion Lives full sleeve tattoo (shoutout to Aaron Biebert for all he does). The back of their Prius is covered in stickers that say, “I vape, I vote,” and “Cigarettes are for sissies.”
Which one do you relate to? I think I’m a super advocate. Share yours on Facebook and see what your friends get!