Lady Vapentine has polished her crystal tank, vaped up into the stars and come up with some fun vaping horoscopes for the month of VAPE-ril. Look within and see what lies ahead!
Capricorn 12/22-1/19Have you spent most of the year feeling attached to a favorite e juice? That may all change in the month of VAPE-ril, when Venus shifts into your 4th House. This cosmic shift indicates that you may meet someone...or something...that simply takes your breath away. Don’t let springtime love haze your intentions. This new vape flavor may seem too good to be true, but sometimes, the goodest things are the truest things, truthfully. Aquarius 1/20-2/18You’ve had a rough year, so far, Aquarian, but VAPE-ril promises to be good for you financially. The fog lifts around the 15th of the month, when you’ll feel financial stresses alleviate, and you may have some extra cash in your pocket for that new mod you’ve been dreaming of. Be wise with investments, but not too conservative. The greatest cost is time spent waiting, my son/daughter. Pisces 2/19-3/20Communication is key for you during the month of VAPE-ril, Pisces, but remember to think before you speak. Early in the month, you may find it hard to get through to people, and this may lead to light-hearted disagreements on ECF or Facebook. Remember to use emojis wisely, and that there is no gif like the present. When the full moon rises on VAPE-ril 22, you may find yourself positively reviewing a new vape product or restaurant online. Aries 3/21-4/19You either just had your birthday, or you’re about to have it, Aries. How do I know that? I’m a psychic. You’re a fast thinker, with bold opinions, but don’t let that cloud your judgment in VAPE-ril, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. You’ll be very popular during the first half of the month, but nobody will visit or call you on April 31st. Taurus 4/20-5/20Famous Taurus musician Cher sang, “I got you, vape,” and this seems to be your anthem for the month of VAPE-ril. If you’re feeling a little out of sorts, remember to keep your favorite mod filled with your favorite e juice and spend a quiet evening vaping. When your birthday rolls around, you’ll be surprised with a special e juice that you didn’t expect to get. Gemini 5/21-6/20Since Gemini is the Twin sign, you often feel a lot of contradictions. One day, you feel like you’re a high-tech box mod, and the next day, you feel like an old-school cigalike. VAPE-ril is the month to embrace the contradictions you feel. Mercury does that whole retrograde thing at the end of VAPE-ril, but don’t let stress get you down. The vape gods are on your side. Cancer 6/21-7/22Have you been having a hard time finding balance, Cancer? Your love life may seem a little chaotic because you and your loved one can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything. Simply lower your resistance and be patient. You’ll find the perfect wattage to balance things out. You’ll also probably eat a sandwich sometime in VAPE-ril. I can see the future. Leo 7-23-8/22Of all the vape signs, Leo is the one that’s toughest to argue with. Do you find that you always win arguments about the best mod, or the best e juice, or the best way to rebuild an atomizer? VAPE-ril might be the month that sees you rearing your lion head and roaring about vaping advocacy. There’s also a decent chance you will be online during VAPE-ril. You’re probably online right now, Leo. Lady Vapentine knows. Lady Vapentine sees all. Virgo 8/23-9/22Virgo is the virgin, but you’re no newbie when it comes to vaping. You have a collection of mods and tanks that rivals that of most vape shops. VAPE-ril will find you actually learning something about vaping that you never knew before. My visions show me that you will probably drink at least one glass of water. Maybe two. Libra 9/23-10/22The scales command you, Libra, as Jupiter moves into the 25th house of Saturn this month. It’s all about balance: balancing work and fun, TV and exercise, vaping and more vaping. You’ll face a big challenge on the 14th, when a boss gives you extra responsibility at work, or your favorite e juice runs out. There’s also a decent chance you’ll watch an episode of The Voice. Scorpio 10/23-11/21Have you noticed your jealous streak coming out a little bit, Scorpio? Be mindful on the 8th, when the Moon just so happens to be orbiting Planet Earth. You might feel the pull of a new temptation that distracts you from work or other responsibilities. Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and that your mod is probably just as cool as your friend’s mod. Maybe even cooler. Sagittarius 11/22-12/21VAPE-ril promises fun and adventure for you, Sagittarius, as you head out to a number of social events. Live it up and make sure to take plenty of pictures of yourself vaping. Who doesn’t love a good photograph of somebody vaping. On VAPE-ril 3rd, you will not receive a single piece of mail.